You Gonna Jump?
by somethingoftheunknown
Summary: "Humphrey." she stops him "I get it, but you can't do this."/ "And why is that?" he asks curiously./ "Because I'm jumping this building."


**Okay, I know that this isn't what I'm supposed to be posting.**

**This is just a random story that I had to write.**

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Her whole world is falling apart... because by now, she's sure that Chuck's her whole world.

But of course her whole world would sleep with Jenny Humphrey. Jenny Humphrey and her blonde hair. Jenny Humphrey and her long legs. Jenny Humphrey and her thin waist... she's just like Serena.

And of course, everybody would pick Serena van der Woodsen. Serena van der Woodsen and her bubbly personality. Serena van der Woodsen and her warm smile. Serena van der Woodsen and her fucking perfection.

What does she has? She's smarter, of course.

But still, that didn't stop them from taking both of her two great loves from her.

She takes another bottle of Scotch (Chuck's favourite) and goes to the roof of the hotel she's staying at for the weekend (nobody knows she's there). She leans towards the ledge and sees the streets filled with people and cars.

Might as well jump.

"Hey." she hears a familiar voice say.

"Humphrey." she breathes "What are you doing here?"

"Well..." he starts with a wide smile on his face "If I was going to commit suicide might as well do it on a place I could never probably afford."

He's drunk. Great.

"What are you talking about? You practically have a perfect life, you're even rich now. You're just drunk." she answered.

He climbs on the ledge and after a few seconds of regaining his balance, he started walking on it normally.

"See? I'm not drunk. I have a perfectly rational mind as I contemplate on committing suicide. Though I don't think that anyone who plans on jumping off a building has a rational mind, but what I mean is that I am 100 percent sure that I would jump off this very, very nice and expensive building... which would probably ruin the reputation of..." he rambles on.

"Humphrey." she stops him "I get it, but you can't do this."

"And why is that?" he asks curiously.

"Because I'm jumping this building." she challenges him.

He laughs.

"I bet you're jumping off this building because of Chuck Bass." he says it in a very mocking tone that made Blair almost embarrassed to answer.

"Actually, yes."

"Your reasons are shallow." he accuses her "I'm sure that there's more to Blair Waldorf than Chuck Bass."

"Okay... they might be shallow. But for my over-dramatic self, that's enough." she climbs on the ledge and sat on it, her legs dangerously dangling on the side of the building. "And I'm still jumping."

"Okay, I won't stop you... if you're sure of what you're doing." he sits beside her.

"I'm about 95 percent sure."

"You're drunk." he points out.

"Okay, maybe 65 percent." she admits "Though that's still higher than 50. What about you? Why are you jumping?"

"Nobody cares about me." he answers simply "My dad, nowadays he just cares about Lily and Jenny."

She scoffs.

"And my reasons are shallow? You're father is probably the best dad in the Upper East Side - probably because he came from Brooklyn - of course he cares about you."

"Not anymore. You know, when my dad and Lily married, he didn't ask if I was okay with it."

"Didn't you and Serena called it quits before the wedding?" she points out.

"For them."

"Then what's to ask?"

"That maybe I still loved her." he almost shouts "That maybe, they should've waited a little bit longer before they made her my step-sister."

"He waited for Twenty years to be together with Lily." she argued.

"When I told him I got Georgina Sparks pregnant, you know what he said?" he was shaking a little bit "_You'll do the right thing, son._ Then he walked off.

"Because you would." she reasons. Wait, that's not supposed to be the case, wasn't she the one that was going to jump? "He cares about you." she tells him anyways.

"He doesn't. Nobody does."

"Why are you so sure?"

"It's March 3."

"And...?"

He laughs bitterly.

"Happy Birthday to me." he says and takes the scotch from her hands and chugged it down.

Of course she couldn't say anything back, so instead, she took the bottle back and sipped from it.

She rests her head on his shoulder and they share that last bottle of scotch (you have to be drunk to commit suicide; it's like an unspoken rule... or they just like fitting it with the cliche 'drunken roof jump' thing).

After both of them finished the bottle, they both stood up.

"You gonna jump?" she asks.

"Yup." he says and he's never been so sure of anything in his life "You?"

"Of course." her voice was a little bit weary.

He pulls her to him and kisses her, and she kisses back. You also need that final kiss; regardless of who you're sharing it with.

They'll leave this world as lovers and serve it as the perfect revenge to all of them.

Chuck would think that they were cheating and that Dan was the person she really loved (she hanged the metal heart on Dan's sleeve). Jenny would be upset that she took her brother with her (of course he would've jumped on his own, but she didn't need to know that) and of course, this would get Serena for the obvious reasons (_I also slept with your first and greatest love and we did it behind you're back_).

Maybe they're all lies, but her acting would be convincing even if she's dead.

He leans to the side and he isn't holding her; giving her an out, but she pulls him closer and kisses him again as they fall. She wouldn't be able to do this alone, and since they finally became friends, Dan is the perfect suicide partner.

Of course the Queen would go out of this world with a grand exit that nobody would ever forget.

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**Thank you for reading. Please review.**

**I am still looking for a beta.**

**Fun Fact: Like I told you in my other story, March 3 is actually my brother's birthday. **


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